Ironic Hell
by Sailor Latias
Summary: [Watching Once with my mom. I hate it.]


"C'mon, Mulan, just watch the first episode with me! Please? Emma, Mary Margaret, Belle, we all love this show! Ruby too! We don't do anything together anymore and who knows, maybe you're the same as us."

"Princess, I don't have time."

"Of course you don't. You never do."

* * *

"Do you want to watch now?"

"Seriously? You're agreeing to watch with me?"

"I have to get up early tomorrow. Do you want to watch it or not?"

"Yes! Yes, of course! Ruby, Belle, I have to go. Let's talk later, okay?"

"Okay, have fun, Aurora!"

"Say hello to Mulan for me."

"Hurry up."

"I know! Belle says hi to you, by the way."

"Cool. We going to watch, or-?"

"It's loading. I'm loading it! Don't rush me."

* * *

"So... what'd you think?"

"Heh, it's okay. It's like one of those shows I used to watch back then. They have events out of order - we're in the past, then it's the future, then the past again, then the future..."

"Sure, but it's in English. So, what do you think of the characters?"

"They're okay."

"Main character?"

"Okay."

"The mom?"

"She's ugly."

"The villain?"

"Okay."

"The one guy in the jail cell."

"He's okay."

"Anything?"

"I told you, it's okay."

"... wanna watch the second?"

"Tomorrow, okay? Let's watch it tomorrow."

"Really? You wanna watch the second episode?!"

"Tomorrow."

"I love you so much right now!"

"I love you too. Make sure you sleep early, okay? I know we share the same bed and all but don't stay up too late."

* * *

"So what'd you think?"

"Like the old shows."

"The Sheriff just died and that's all you've been saying for literally every single one. That tells me nothing of how you feel. I don't care if it's like those ancient plays you used to watch in the theater where it was all hot and sweaty, that's not an emotion. This is the 7th episode, c'mon."

"What?! What do you want me to say? They're crazy, they're all okay, that's it! It's nothing!"

"... Nothing then, forget it."

* * *

"It's always the same. We don't do anything together anymore. I'd watch her shit too if it wasn't in Chinese with Chinese subs. I don't care if it's all Norwegian slang or if Spanish had a lovechild with Mandarin and Indian, as long as I can understand the damn thing, I'll watch whatever she wants even if there's no plot. Unless it's sports... then I'd rather die."

"I don't know what to tell you, hon."

"Ironically, I'm the one who's suffering. I thought this was going to be fun. Granny's watching and she loves it so you have someone to fangirl with. If we ever get to the second season and that princess and that warrior come along and she's still singing her same old song of '_ohh, sun fa hei_' this and that, I am going to slap the shit out of her. Those two characters are my babies. She doesn't have to like it and she can even find them annoying, but she at least has to have SOME reaction that isn't 'old show this' and 'old show that' and no more being okay or crazy or just SOMETHING!"

"But what if that's how she really feels?"

"Then she's not feeling. You can't honestly tell me you wouldn't feel for at least one person on this show, Belle French. We just finished episode seven and when I saw the lack of reaction to a major character's death - well, he _was_ a major character but now he's, well, dead, you know? - then I just... I don't even know. I want to cry. Scream. Make enough noise for the both of us. Ohh, and get this! She hates when I ask her questions afterwards! But she also won't tell me squat! How the bloody hell am I supposed to know what that damn woman is about if I can't ask and she won't tell? Hm? How?!"

"Maybe she's just watching to spend time with you. I mean, you did say she wasn't even remotely interested and you did complain about it to her."

"People who aren't interested will tell you. If she wants to spend time with me, she'd make time. I forced her into that first episode and knowing her, she'd tell me if she wanted to stop. There's been no 'Aurora, I'd like to stop watching now. Maybe we can do something later' bit. I mean sure, I'll be disappointed but I won't commit murder over it. If frustrating the shit out of me by keeping her damn mouth shut is her way of letting me know she wants to stop, she better try harder because I'm not going to take the hint. I'm acknowledging if that's the case, but I'm not going to oblige."

"Stubborn as always. Heh, you and Mulan both. Looks like our Princess has gotten used to Storybrooke, hasn't she, Belle?"

"She has. Swearing like a sailor. How unladylike of you, Aurora."

"Damn right. Hell hath no fury like an annoyed Aurora, Phillip used to say."

"Well then... Mulan better watch herself."


End file.
